Little Items
» Email a colleague about this list.
Try these on for size.
United States currency shows two signatures. Someone voted at an election by absentee or affidavit ballot (probably absentee), and that required that the voter sign the application or envelope. The voter decided to enclose proof of their signature. They enclosed a dollar bill, on which they had circled their official signature printed on all the dollar bills of the time. Therefore, that’s not a fee or a bribe. It was noted as signature evidence at the count. (It wasn’t really necessary, since the signature was likely on file at the election office anyway.)
A judge does not live forever, even if colleagues wish otherwise. Courts tend not to be very reliable guides to science, but we can now report that the Ninth Circuit Federal appellate court has been informed that judges are considered dead once they have died. The Supreme Court provided the education in a per curiam opinion agreed to by eight Justices in Yovina v. Rizo, 586 U.S. ___ () (slip op.).
A T-shirt with a clothing brand’s large logo and saying it’s a trademark said the trademark is “registered in all the right places”. I don’t know the law, but that seems like legally adequate notice. The traditional way is something like, “registered in the United States and other countries”, but why not an amusing form if it works?
I’m no sneaker expert. I’m amazed (not entirely positively) that anyone recognizes the brand I wear when it's the only famous brand I wore (Starbury, $14.98 a pair); in other years I wear a cheap brand likely designed to look fashionable (and I don't care about fashion) (it’s a brand from shoe store chain Payless). So, when I see a sneaker on someone else’s foot and it has a big “N” logo, I think it’s Nike. I guess that drives the people at New Balance nuts, but they still use the “N” trademark, so they can hardly complain.
I love libraries. I used public libraries a lot before Web searching was viable for many purposes. I used to wish that I’d discover an ancient law requiring every library to have an apartment for rent inside the library and I’d walk in with my two shillings. Years later, I met someone who, as a child, had played with children from a family that lived in a library, the family of a live-in maintenance worker. The library may still have had that apartment when I was wishing for it, although ignored or repurposed and, at some point in time, removed during library renovations. I’m told that all the libraries in two library systems had those apartments that were disappearing during branch-by-branch renovations. Nowadays, one of those library systems I think requires its maintenance workers for smaller branches to drive from branch to branch. So, no, I never got to live among books by the hundreds of thousands.
An orange-y drink is labeled “MUST REFRIGERATE AFTER PURCHASE” (SunnyD Tangy Original, half-gallon, drink (“CONTAINS 5% JUICE”, according to the label)). How does the drink know that it was purchased?
Food labels often say something important for health, like how nutritious it is and maybe whether allergens are in the food. The Federal government requires some of this. Many people read the labels before buying the food. But one food retailer has this: “You agree not to rely on any information on the Service [including “products”] to make health-related decisions.” Https://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/legal/conditions-of-use , as accessed Oct. 5, 2022. A sign about conditions of use was near the check-out area. I saw the sign as I was leaving the store, having made my purchase. The cashier hadn’t said anything about it. I had visited another store in the chain the day before and was unaware that the conditions existed. This is so absurd I wonder if it’s even valid for overriding all of the food product labels and reasonable uses to which those labels may be put. This may be about a Web-centric company owning a grocery chain as a subsidiary, and thinking that what’s good for the parent is good for the subsidiary.
“You didn’t read the terms.” Yes, I did, and the terms didn’t say anything about the situation. Then she backed off and worked on the problem for me. I guess the customer service staff was told to first say that to everyone who complained about something. It probably works; most people don’t read the terms.
How’d you get in here? a lawyer asks me. I said: “Through the door.” He said: “That’s a good answer.” What was he expecting?
One elevator passenger, sounding like a secretary, tells another passenger about her boss who just got a promotion. He became a 10% partner. She asked her boss, Are you still going to steal petty cash, now that you’ve made partner? Yes, he said, because 90% isn’t his. (She does not seem happy.)
I’m going to the 21st floor. Someone downstairs asks me: “Do you know where it is?” “It’s between 20 and 22.”
“When I have Medicaid, doctors fall in love with me.”
The boss is talking to a worker. The worker says, “I thought —”. The boss says, “I don’t pay you to think.”
A messenger goes to a garage. He’s from All Boro something-or-other messenger company. He’s supposed to deliver an envelope, that’s all. But before they’ll sign a receipt, they open the letter. It says to give a car to a driver from a company called All Boro, spelled something like that, a car company. But that’s like what it says on the messenger’s ticket. So: Out comes a car. They tell the messenger: You’ve got to take it. Okay, he does what he’s told. Isn’t that what his job is? It’s a Maserati, $40,000 back then. He drives from 23rd Street to 59th Street. Doesn’t hit a thing. Arrives. His boss is not expecting a car. Boss asks the messenger: Can you drive it back? No, says the messenger. He doesn’t have a driver’s license.
Don’t worry about it. It’s just a truck. We’re wrong. We’re jaywalking, against a red light. The driver is right, and is stuck in the intersection. So, he’s satirizing us, No big deal. Just a truck. Don’t worry about it. I think it was a cement truck. We’re smiling as we rush in front of the truck.
An organization wanted to go a couple hundred of miles to Washington, D.C., and then back. They asked someone to drive a school bus. Okay, but part way out, the driver says to get it fixed. Naah, they tell him, nothing to worry about. He keeps driving, then tells them he won’t drive back if it isn’t fixed. Some back and forth. He wins. They get a mechanic. The mechanic gets under the bus. He laughs. He laughs. He comes out: You had it towed, right? “No.” He gets back under. He laughs for 20 minutes, total. The clutch had only 2 or 3 bolts still holding it together. Why it didn’t crash is anyone’s guess. It got fixed.
Maybe this counts as truthful advertising: “Please be advised that Charleville Lodge is not Buckingham Palace, therefore guests should not expect 7-star service. While our accommodation has often been described as palatial, guests are reminded that Charleville Lodge provides budget accommodation and very adequate service. Our service is by no means excellent, which is reflected in the amount of money you’re paying us.” “Charleville Lodge is located in the Phibsborough area of Dublin 7, 57 seconds walk from the new Phibsborough Luas station. While the area sometimes resembles a scene from the night of the living dead, you’ve nothing really to worry about as 85% of cafe visitors make it home alive. As long as you don’t make eye contact with the locals you’ll be grand.”
Said by a street musician: “Requests are twenty bucks whether I know it or not.”
Sailorman Jack was a subway performer, a singer with a guitar, back when there was no official program for subway musicians. He said, the rule is, don’t break the law under the officer’s nose. He’s performing and he sees a cop coming, so he stops. The crowd turns around, and sees why he stopped. The officer, coming near, pulls his gun halfway out of its holster and commands “Sing!”
A lawyer informs a court (probably in the U.S.) that the military is not complying with the court’s order. The judge orders a 10-minute adjournment and tells the lawyer to call the Army and, according to the lawyer later, “[t]ell the Army: If it wants a war, it shall have one.” I gather the lawyer persuaded the Army to comply.
